Sunday, April 13, 2014

Adventures in Meditating: Devoured by a Goddess

I've recently gotten back into a daily, seated meditation practice. I realized that the trick would be to stop trying to find a whole hour for this, followed by 20-30 minutes of journaling. Instead? Shorten the practice; commit to less time with the the option of going for longer. And it's working. 

I wake up, roll out of bed, and then sit down with my journal beside me, set my timer for twenty-two minutes, and begin the Sheng Zhen practice Union of Three Hearts (aka Zhongtian Yiqi).

And a few weeks ago, when I first started getting back into this, something very interesting happened as a result of me asking for help with quieting my mind, which is something I sometimes do. When monkey mind is out of hand, or my body is having trouble relaxing, I simply ask for help. Sometimes it's a general request, and sometimes it's directed at someone or something specific. And every time I've thought to ask for help, I receive it. Some experiences are more obviously profound than others, like the one from a few weeks ago.

 In the Sheng Zhen system, there are various qigong forms that have been gifted by various avatars, such as Kuan Yin, Jesus, Mohammed, Hanuman. So while seated, trying to quiet my mind, this time I asked for help from all of them and others.; clearly, I was really needing some major assitance. So the names and images started coming.  Kuan Yin, Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Hanuman, Heavenly Mother, Heavenly Father. And then other names and images started coming, a few Hindu Gods and Goddesses, and then it stopped with Kali. She was the one needed that day to put me in my place.

Kali, the Hindu Goddess associated with ego-death, empowerment, endings & beginnings, time & change, was now in my mind’s eye biting the heads off of the people who were popping into my head making noise, a few people with whom I was experiencing change and/or conflict. As I observed this, in awe, thinking it was interesting that she actually bit their heads off, she turned and looked at me.

Uh oh. Wasn't it enough that she severed the heads of these people who were bugging me? ;) No. It wasn't enough, because it was me, my own ego, creating all this chatter in my head. My own ego creating my own suffering. So then she breathed fire towards me, which although I don't recall that being something she's known to do, that's what was happening,  and it came through as a message, as a gift-- this energy, this element of fire, was there to help empower me to let go, be free, and take action. 

Sounds good, right? Time to get back to meditating, right? Wrong. She wasn't done with me yet. While I was analyzing what had already happened, so clearly still in monkey mind mode, she suddenly swooped in and ate my entire body to shut me up once and for all, engulfing me with one gulp. 

And then? Well, she processed and eliminated me almost instantaneously. I came right back out of her in the form of shit or mud and then saw a lotus flower out of which I grew into this beautiful and strong goddess in a white dress, totally at peace and clear and ready to take on the world. It was awesome!

And after that scenario played out? End of show. I was at peace, with a quiet mind, able to continue my meditation practice, forgetting my body, forgetting my mind, forgetting everything as my qi and love energy expanded and merged with the universe.
Ta da! ;)

Now, while I can't promise you'll experience anything like that, I suggest asking for help if you're having trouble quieting your mind during meditation. It's really easy. You just think, "help. Help me meditate." And then open up to receiving help in whatever form it is delivered. Might come on as a sudden or gradual calm and focus, or it could be something more dramatic, something where the mind engages even more at first. Just be open. You never know what you're gonna get. But if you ask, and believe, then you absolutely will receive.

© 2014 Rebecca Clio Gould. All rights reserved.

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