Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Te Amo, Colonia!!!! (& summary of past week)


Today was awesome! I was pleasantly surprised to wake up today feeling so much better and like I knew I had a choice here. Sure, I could choose to stay home and recharge, spending the day writing, practicing qigong, reading, studying Spanish, etc, if that´s what would really be best for me. But this morning, that was no longer resonating as the best thing for me. Instead I had this feeling that today was the day-- the day for my trip to Colonia, Uraguay!

So, after only 5 or 6 hours of sleep (which has been pretty common here for me), I rolled out of bed, looked up some info online, and although it wasn´t totally clear that I´d be able to go, I decided to get ready pretty fast, but without rushing, and just head on down to the port, having a feeling that today things were going to work out, be more easy, and flow.

I remembered today the power of the mind and of words, and so since I got so much of it out of my system last night, now it was time to stop thinking about and talking/writing about how ¨nearly everyday something goes wrong¨ or generalizations about the people here. It doesn´t have to be like that. And today, it wasn´t. Everything was oh so right! Even the doorman who usually seems so unfriendly smiled at me for the first time tonight when I came home and asked if I had gone to Colonia. I think my fave doorman, who had been there this morning, must´ve spread the word. It was a pleasant surprise ending to such a pleasant day. Perhaps his shift had to do with the shift in my own vibe and that today I was not anticipating any negatives.

So, Colonia.... I left my apartment, walked outside, and a taxi came by within less than a minute! I got to practice my Spanish. It´s cool to see that I´m still improving even though I haven´t had a lesson since last Thursday. Although, as my Spanish gets better, my English gets worse. I notice I leave out words and letters when I type. I also sometimes choose the wrong or not quite right words when typing or speaking. For example, today I met a family from Nova Scotia and said, ¨i haven´t been talking much English here.¨ And then laughed and corrected with ¨speaking!¨

Anywho, got to Buquebus (boat company)with plenty of time to get info (went very smoothly), buy ticket (again, went very smoothly), and check in. I even had great luck when I went to buy water in the waiting area (yesterday I was feeling like i´d been on some sort of unlucky streak. but no.) The water-- another thing about today was that I decided to only drink water today. No food. In Spanish I was able to tell this guy that and ask if they had any bigger bottle of waters and ask if there was water on the boat. The water was so expensive and a very small bottle. He said I had time to walk 3 blocks to buy some. This is notable, because some clerks would not have been as helpful. I felt lucky. I also felt empowered, as if my whole attitude that morning really was helping to create a better reality for me.

I was also so happy to finally be going to Colonia. I´d been wanting to go so badly, and also wanting to get out of the big city. I was taking the 3 hour boat there, and then would return on the 1 hour boat. I´d have 5 hours in Colonia.

In line for boarding, I met 2 women from New Jersey. We hit it off immediately. We talked a lot in line, and then towards the end of the boat ride. We also made tentative plans to meet again in Buenos Aires this week and/or weekend. During the ride, I spent about half the time sunbathing. I met a nice elderly couple from Buenos Aires was able to practice a lot of Spanish with them. They also wrote down some suggestions of more places to see in and nearby Buenos Aires. After I´d had enough sun, I sneaked in to the First Class cabin to practice some qigong and meditate in a comfy reclining chair! I practiced Sheng Zhen Qigong´s Nine Turns, a non-moving Qigong and Meditation practice. And then there was some live music outside of the first class cabin. I went to check it out, then sunbathed some more, then found the New Jersey ladies and chatted until we parted ways in Colonia, as they were signed up for a tour and later return to Buenos Aires.

I found a tourist info office and was happy to be advised to do what I really wanted to do: a walking tour on my own rather than a guided one! I´d been considering a walking one though, since it was only going to be an hour long and might be a nice general overview. However, it turned out to be just perfect being on my own. It was so nice taking my time and letting intuition guide me, walking through this peaceful quiet town. Ah, what a relief from the big city! What a breath of fresh air, literally! The small streets, the drivers who actually slow down and wave at you to cross the street, the cobblestone, the river, the flowers, the quiet and calm...

The first thing I did was look for a Cultural Center that turned out to be nothing, but that lead me to a playground where I sat under some beautiful trees, in total bliss, feeling so at peace and content, as if I´d returned home. Not home, as in Seattle, but home as in my true and highest self. Spent some time just sitting, listening to birds chirping, watching and hearing children playing, and then discovered there was blue ink all over my hands and arms! It must´ve been from the label on my huge water bottle! I used some of that water and a towel to wash it off.

After the park, I went to a crafts market, where I had a fairly long conversation (mostly in spanish!) with a man selling stones and crystals. We talked about collecting them, out in nature, rather than just buying them. He wrote down some places and instructions on how to get to places where I could look for crystals and stones, in Uraguay. But it was 10 hours away, so maybe next trip down here! I also bought some jewelry from another man; he and his wife hand-made it all. And it´s crazy how cheap stuff is here. In some ways I´m glad that I am packing/traveling light though, or I´d acquire so much more stuff even though I´m really wanting to get rid of even more when I return home!

After the market, I ended up at the beach and decided not to stick to the walking tour map, other than that I did want to see some ruins before leaving. The beach has some nice sand, but the river water is so brown! I came prepared to swim, but didn´t feel I had the time, or the desire, so I just beach-combed a bit and looked around. I also decided that the water fast today was no longer serving my best interest. Part of why I was doing it was to experiment with a practice that says doing a water fast on Tuesday (but weekly, for many weeks or months) can help get rid of violent tendencies. Why would I want to do this? Because I´ve been so hard on myself, and that´s a form of violence. This is all related to some discussions with a friend here, but I don´t want to get into the details now... But I decided that fasting, rather than treating myself to some Uraguayan food and beverage, could actually be considered ¨being hard on myself.¨ So I found a restaurant recommended in my Lonely Planet guide, and it just so happened to be next to the ruins and lighthouse I´d been looking for!

I had a rice and seafood dish, plus I tried a drink called.... ah! I don´t remember the name exactly, but it was something like Ferimenta. Some sort of licquor with mint(menta). Apprently it´s usually served with Coke, but I said no to that. I was warned by another traveler that it would be strong, but I wanted to try it, as it was something unique to the region. When the waiter brought it to me, I was shocked by how much was in the glass, since I´d expected a full tall glass only if I had said yes to the Coke! I tasted it and liked it, but I realized I better ask the waiter. So I tried in Spanish to tell him that I don´t want to be drunk, but the word for drunk and cheap are very similar, and I think I used the wrong word, so he didn´t understand me! I tried to explain another way, by asking how much alcohol and if stronger than wine, and if that whole glass was full of alcohol. He said yes! So I´m glad I asked!

After the food and drink, it was time to go back to the boat. But I was willing to risk missing the boat! ;) I went to the ruins and then up into the light house. The steep spiral stairs were fun, especially after drinking half of that strong mystery drink. I wasn´t drunk, but was a teeny bit buzzed, so was extra careful! Dropped my water bottle, but made it up and down in one piece, and got to the boat just in time and without rushing or stressing.

I loved today. Not just where I went, what I saw, and what I did. But how I felt inside. I felt tempted to spend a night in Colonia, or to return to Buenos Aires, pack up my things, and then return to Colonia, as it resonated so much more with me than this huge, fast-paced, loud city. But then it occurred to me to instead take back to Buenos Aires the peace and joy and love and light I was experiencing today. I also enjoyed a conversation with the taxi driver on the way home about big cities verses small cities, and the craziness versus the tranquility. I´m excited to see what unfolds during the rest of my time here. Although this whole time here has been full of ups and downs, this particular up somehow feels bigger, more profound, like something that just might stick.

I know that there are about 10 days that have passed since my last travel update, so I do intend to post a summary and/or detailed entries. All my journal entries are typed up. Just gotta take the time to edit them! Oh, I might as well give the super short run down here:
Day 8: Tigre and river tour and first (funny) train ride with Brazilians! Found usb cable for camera, but it ended up not working.
Day 9: Tango lesson with awful partner, Milonga with awesome partner, dance club with Brazilians til 5 in the morning!
Day 10: Yoga with and meeting Forgiven (an amazing woman from Seattle who has lived here for years now, and who is a friend of friends, and is now my friend too!)This may have been the day I finally got the hot water back on in the shower...
Day 11: First private Spanish lesson with Patricio, an awesome teacher! First bus ride. First steak. A rainbow!
Day 12: Compared salsa teachers. One lesson in the early afternoon, and one later on with a couple (Richard y Faby). Loved it! Met Sophie, another Salsa student, and we planned to go out dancing some time
Day 13: Realized I lost my ATM card. 2nd lesson with Patricio. Salsa lesson with Richard y Faby. Feeling a bit tired and also stressed about ATM card.
Day 14: Dealt with lost ATM card. Broke down and cried in front of my fave doorman when a woman-- actually, I don´t want to give away this story here. I´ll write about it soon! Spent time with Forgiven, deep sharing and philosophical and spiritual discussions. Went to another salsa lesson with Richard y Faby. Met with Forgiven again for late dinner at a Brazilian restaurant. Funny faces at dinner, relaxing different facial muscles!
Day 15: Brazilian friend was going to spend day with me, but went to airport early instead, so I went to zoo alone and then to see Meet the Fockers!
Day 16: San Telmo market, big wind and rain storm; it was so much fun! Got drenched and loved it! Took a nap when I got home. Forgiven came over. More great conversations, then received some powerful energy work from her.
Day 17: City Tour Bus, saw lots of neighborhoods and sites, most notable was La Boca. Also had my first Chorizo. Also found out that some museums and an ecological reserve I wanted to see are closed on Monday. Felt burned out and hyper-sensitive and reactionary at the beginning of the day and the end of the day, but alright in between.
Day 18: That was today! Felt great! :)


© 2011 Rebecca Clio Gould. All rights reserved. 

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Disappearing Pain

I woke up this morning feeling a lot of aches and pains that seemed disproportionate to yesterday´s activities. I hadn´t spent much time on the computer, at least not compared to all of last week! I hadn´t gone out dancing all night long. I hadn´t strained myself during yoga, at least not to my knowledge. I even had had a massage a couple of days ago. And I finally found a pillow that felt better than all the others I´d tried. So what was going on?

I lied in bed thinking about pain. I was thinking about, and practicing, a technique I learned in David Hawkins´ Healing and Recovery for ¨disappearing¨ pain by not resisting it, but instead surrendering to it and even asking for more. At the end of this entry, I´ve posted some quotes about these techniques and the philosophy, but for now, here´s somewhat of the guiding principle: ¨The experience of the body is not occurring in the body; it is occurring in the mind.¨ P.301

Now, when I first read this, I felt defensive in terms of that I felt like he was saying that if I´m in pain, it´s all in my head. I also felt conflicted about embodiment as a healing path vs transcending the body as a spiritual path (but that is a whole other story!) The things is, yes, pain is in our heads! But it´s also in our bodies. My mind interprets my body´s pain signals. It also interprets the context or events that initially caused or contributed to the pain. So the mind can make pain stronger or last longer. But the mind can also help relieve pain and shorten its duration!

As I lied in bed, I was thinkikng about this, and how although I believe in the power of the mind, there still is something going on with the body here. Specifically, I was thinking that although the mind is what interprets pain, the pain response is a bodily mechanism to warn us that there´s some stimulus that needs to be removed, stopped, or avoided. And with that thought came this thought: If the stimulus that initially caused the pain is no longer there, then what purpose does pain serve now? There is no longer any need for it. The message has already been received.

This was an ¨aha!¨ moment for me, big time. And suddenly and noticeably, my body relaxed and softened, and the sensations of pain in my upper body went away. They came back a bit when I got out of bed and sat down to type this! But it was profound to have that realization about the purpose (or lack thereof) of pain, and then experience the effect that realization had on my body and my perception of pain.

Some other parts of my body required some more dialoguing with myself. For example, after my upper body felt better, I noticed an ache in the right side of my lower back. So,I said to my back and the nocioceptors (pain receptors that function in times of injury and inflammation), ¨Ok, so the vertebrae were fused, a bone graft was taken, and there´s that mesh hernia repair, all aroundthat area. But that was years ago! Everything has healed and you´re safe-- no more being cut into. And you even take great care of yourself, getting regular massages, doing yoga, qigong, dancing.¨ No reponse. So drawing on my Upledger CranioSacral and SomatoEmotional Release skills, I asked, ¨What do you need?¨ After a minute or two of just being open to receiving an answer or some sort of guidance, an image appeared of self-massage for some scar tissue and also being more aware of and practicing better posture. And with those images and thoughts, I felt and visualized my spine lengthening and that lower right quadrant of my back relaxing and decompressing.

My glutes and IT band are still a mystery, unless it´s the 4 salsa lessons over the past 3 days catching up with me! Maybe muscle soreness from use is a whole different mechanism than other types of pain. I don´t remember....

The important thing here is that simply holding this thought in mind (the thought that there´s no use for pain once the message is received and the harmful stimulus has been removed) can have profound benefits!

And here are those quotes from Hawkins that have also been helpful with ¨dissovling¨ pain:

The technique that we will get a lot of mileage from is the whole concept of letting go of resistance. P.305

To let go of resistance means to completely be with the event and totally surrender to the sensation. It means to ignore the thoughts that we may be having about it. Instead of thinking about it, we go right into the direct experience of the sensation and totally let go of resisting it. …The way to do this is to say, “More, more, more.” The way to hold this in mind so that this is acceptable is to know that there is only so much pain in any experience. We open the door to it and let it run out rapidly. “I let go of resisting being with it. I ignore the thoughts because the thoughts are not going to be useful. Instead I totally surrender and allow myself to experience it totally. It is as if the doors open, there is a rush, and the pain is totally experienced out rapidly in a very few minutes. P.305-6

[T]he body know how to heal itself the minute we let go of resistance. P.307

Those who have tried Zen meditation know that the first thing taught is the handling of discomfort of the physical body by letting go of resisting the experience, canceling out thoughts about it, and becoming one with it, thereby disappearing it.
In consciousness work, the process is called “disappearing.” By totally letting go of resisting something we disappear it out of our experience. One can see that the experience is prolonged by resistance. As long as we resist a thing and hold it, it continues its existence. Resistance gives it the power over us, and we then become the victim of that. We are at the effect of that which we resist. The minute we let go of our resistance and become one with it, it disappears. This also means letting go of all associated images and their accumulated energy. P.308

If one tries to control the pain or use will power against it and resist it, a negative energy field that calibrates at about 150 occurs within the self. This would be about the same level as the emotions of resentment or grief where we resent the pain and are angry about it. If we move up to letting go of resistance, if we have the courage to use the technique and are unreservedly willing to try it, then we move up to the field of 250 called Neutral. Moving into Neutral means being in a positive, detached energy field where “It’s okay with me, and I’m willing to experience this thing out.” Willingness moves us up to an energy field of 310 where we say yes to life and its experiences, where we agree and align with it, and where life expresses itself as a positive intention.
Instead of resisting life, we go with life and surrender it to God. This is the wisdom of the Tao, which teaches us that the willow tree bends with the wind, but the oak tree, which resists it, breaks. Instead of resisting what has occurred when barking our shin, we just become like the willow tree and go with it; we let go of resisting it. We allow that experience to flow through the self. By doing that, we move out of a negative, painful energy field full of resentment, anger, and fear. P. 309-10

How can this technique be utilized in handling chronic pain, which is different from acute pain? ….WE look to see where the pain is being experienced…When we do that, we begin to notice that the painfulness is being experienced everywhere—all around the body and the energy fields of the body—it is really sort of occurring everywhere. …If we go to the top of the head, just as an exercise that we co, from that point we begin to experience the pain. We notice the pain as being everywhere and then use the same technique that was used in handling the acute pain. We let go of resisting what is being experienced everywhere; it is not going on in any specific place. P.311-12





© 2011 Rebecca Clio Gould. All rights reserved.

Friday, January 7, 2011

BsAs, Days 5, 6, 7: Laughter Returns!


I´m desiring to catch up to present time, and also to not write so much. I like preserving my memories in writing, and I do want to share my experiences with people, but I feel like I´m spending too much time in front of the computer. So I´m going to do my best to summarize the rest of the ¨work¨ week here.

On Wednesday, I still felt distracted and brought down by a situation still needing to be dealt with back at home. When I left the apartment, I was surprised to see that it was raining. It actually felt kind of nice and refreshing. And as I walked to Plaza Italia, my subway station, I considered that rather than resisting all the Portuguese being spoken in class, perhaps I should just ask the Brazilians to teach me some. Why fight it? But that day in Spanish class, I realized that the bigger problem was when they were speaking Spanish. So much of the class time was taken up with my classmates speaking Spanish, and I didn´t understand how it could be the right class for me. Sure, I could have repeatedly asked for repetition and translation, but I felt I´d get in the way of the 6 other students getting to practice their Spanish. I found myself wanting to leave. Instead of leaving to talk to the director of the school to see if I should be moved to another class, I remained in class, but stopped being present; I journaled instead, like a rebellious adolescent rather than like the mature young woman I am! ;) And again, I spoke with the teacher, but she didn´t seem to think I needed to move to another class if the lessons were going well. I didn´t really explain though that I didn´t feel like I was learning much.

The next day though, Thursday, I did go to the director of the school, and I explained the entire situation, and mentioned that I was feeling frustrated. I also got teary eyed and choked up and apologized for being emotional. She said something like, ¨No Rebecca. Don´t be sorry. Emotional and sensitive is one thing. It means you´re alive. But frustrated? I don´t want to see you frustrated.¨ She put me in another class. The same level class, just a different one. She and an office worker also told me that this is a common issue with having a lot of Brazilians in one class.

My new teacher, Lucia, was very sweet, and a very good teacher. Really, very good. She and I both wished I´d been moved to her class earlier. I started learning more in that first day, than I had learned the previous days. I discovered that there were some things I should have learned in that level class, but maybe all the conversation time had taken away from it. I don´t know. Didn´t matter anymore. I was in the ¨right¨ class now, with students who had a similar level of speaking ability. I felt more comfortable and like my learning needs were finally being met. I did miss the Brazilians a bit, on a personal level, but this was better for me in terms of actually learning Spanish.

As for Tango, Gustavo arrived late each day. Not much by Friday, but Wednesday, he was 30 minutes late. Given my negativity that Wednesday though, I was not feeling particularly patient at first. But soon I realized it was ridiculous for me to be sitting around thinking about how I would have had time for some more yoga or qigong if I had stayed home an extra 30 minutes-- I had that time now. I could choose to view it as a gift! So what if it meant 30 minutes less of Tango? So instead of just sitting around waiting, I practiced qigong and did some stretching on the dance floor. ¨Don´t just wait. Meditate!¨ That´s my new mantra. Thanks to something I once read in an Osho book, I´d been following through on that the majority of the past year or two, but this week I forgot. So maybe this little rhyme will help me remember!

Throughout the week, I continued improving even more with Tango. Worked a lot on resistance, ¨energy,¨ and finding my center. And feeling the connection with the lead. Although each day I felt some frustration with Gustavo´s teaching methods and/or not understanding him, I had some fun in class this week and actually really enjoyed dancing with him. I even laughed! I really miss going out dancing though. Haven´t had the time or energy yet here, but I will go soon....

I also got to know my classmates better. I really resonated with Camila and could see us becoming friends. She and Cecilia invited me out for lunch on Wednesday. On the way to an awful buffet from which I´m still recovering, we ran into another Brazilian who invited us out to dance that night and told me that I can sleep when I die. Camila and I talked about taking a boat to Colonia or Montevideo in Uruguay, but just for the weekend, as she has more classes next week. Even though I was really craving a day of rest this weekend, and even though I wanted to go for longer, and go to Punta del Este for some beach time, I figured it would be worth it to go for the weekend now too, even if just for the experience and fun of a weekend trip with Camila! And my next post or two will include more on how this all played out...

More cold showers all week long! By Friday, I was loving it though. It actually felt so good that I didn´t want it to end and I was laughing in the shower at how funny this whole situation was, and how funny all of the week´s challenges had been.

Speaking of the week´s challenges, the funniest was Thursday night. On Wednesday, I had called a massage therapist that Ingrid had recommended. She would come to the apartment Thursday night at 7:30. At about 7:10, I decide to use an adaptor I found at Ingrid´s to charge my iPod with a charger I brought. I thought the charger was dual voltage, so I wouldn´t need any sort of transformer. I plugged it in to an outlet in the bedroom, and I heard a loud noise. That noise was actually the silence created by the electricity going out! (The computer had been on, and it´s quite loud.)

My eyes widened, my jaw dropped. ¨Oh crap!¨ And I laughed. A lot. At myself and the whole situation. Of course this would happen right before the massage. Of course. No lights. No music. No air conditioning. And what if this had affected the whole building? I didn´t know! I was only half-dressed, so I threw on some clothes and my sandals and ran three flights of stairs to find a portero. The man at the desk was one I had not met. I took a moment to introduce myself and ask him his name, but now I don´t remember it. I used a combination of Spanish and sign language or charades to explain what had happened. I even tried to explain that my massage therapist would be arriving soon! He told me not to worry and that he needed to call another portero to watch the doors while he came up to the apartment. He told me to go back to the apartment, and he´d be there soon. I took a moment to recognize how much better I could speak and understand Spanish after only a few days.

And then ran back up the stairs. I heard him come up a few minutes later, and remembered that there´s no number on the door, so he might not know which one to come to! I went out in the hall to find him. He came in and we searched EVERYWHERE for the electric panel. We looked behind furniture and mirrors. Couldn´t find it. He told me he would go down to the basement to see if he could fix it from there. Right after he left, I looked behind a photo that was hanging on the wall in the hallway, one of the few things we hadn´t looked behind, and it was there. So I ran downstairs to find him. My massage therapist had just arrived. Sandra. Very lovely woman, and a phenomenal masseuse! She and the portero came back upstairs with me. He flipped a switch, and voila! We had light! And air coniditioning. And music! And it was good.

Ok, one more little story of my adventures to finish up this blog and be done with writing about Week 1!

On Friday, my teacher wrote out how I could ask for the USB cable I need for my camera. I lost it a couple of months ago, and made the mistake of thinking it would be easy to find one here! After class, and after a very long walk with my classmates and teacher, I returned to the school to meet Camila. We were planning to find a travel agency to look into a weekend trip. We ended up walking around with some other Brazilians, two of which had been in my other class. One of which was another Camila. She taught me some Portuguese as we walked. I started to realize that walking with a group meant stopping and waiting for others to do things that they wanted to do along the way. I was eager to get home. So Camila said she´d email me about Uruguay, no problem.

When I left the group, I suddenly felt free. I didn´t even realize that I hadn´t felt that way before. But now it was official. I was done with COINED. Woo hoo! No more feeling like I´m in on a conveyor belt, which was one of the images/feelings that contributed to me dropping out of law school years ago, but that´s a whole other story! Back to Buenos Aires: I saw a camera store on my way to the subway. I stopped outside and rifled through my bags, looking for what my teacher had written. I couldn´t find it. I walked in anyway and asked if anyone spoke English. The middle aged man behind the counter did. I explained what I´d been looking for. He said it was ok, to just speak in English. But I wanted to learn Spanish, so I´d ask him how to say everything in Spanish. It got to the point where he wouldn´t even answer my question until I had correctly repeated what he´d told me to say in Spanish. I liked it. I liked him. And we and some other employees there were all laughing quite a bit.

He high-fived me at the end of it all and I told him he was a muy bueno professor. This is the way to learn Spanish. Going out and interacting with others. And it certainly helps when the other knows English. But even when they don´t, it´s still a great way to learn. Although I didn´t get my cable there, I did get a nice dose of laughter and left feeling great, ending a somewhat rough and super long week on a very positive note.

© 2011 Rebecca Clio Gould. All rights reserved. 

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Buenos Aires, Day 4: Fungicites, Hawkins, Tango, and Triggers!


Day 4, Tuesday, I woke up feeling more at ease and wrote in my journal, ¨The rest of the week will be easy! I know now how to get to and from classes, what it´s like, etc. Maybe after a day or two I´ll have to push my comfort zone again or work on something challenging like translating the washing machine instruction manual, since the icons are not much help!¨Little did I know all the little challenges and comfort zone pushes that would come up for me the rest of the week! Or even the rest of that day....

Got out of bed and checked email. It was nice to wake up to so many comments to the first note, The Traveler, I had posted on Facebook. My dad had also emailed me, pointing out some synchronicity in that the very last line of the Henry Kissinger book he´d been reading for a few weeks, and that he had just finished reading, was this Spanish proverb: "Traveler, there are no roads. Roads are made by walking." :)

Speaking of walking, as I walked to the subway, I noticed that my big toenails looked discolored. One of my biggest fears in life is getting toenail fungus. No offense to anyone who has it. But it´s true; I don´t want it! So, I start getting worried and wondering how this could have happened. The past few months, I was reading a book called Healing and Recovery by David Hawkins. I won´t get into it all here and now, but basically it includes some exercises to help cancel out beliefs that have manifested as disease. So as I rode to school, I silently repeated this affirmation of ¨I used to believe I was subject to overgrowth of yeast, fungus, and parasites (figured I´d just throw them all in there!). I am no longer subject to that. I am an infinite and innocent being!¨ I repeat this so much that at some point I´ve unintentionally created a new word: fungicites. And I like it. The word, that is. I looked down periodically to see if the discoloration was gone, like as if canceling it out could work that fast!

And then I try another Hawkins exercise, which is to just surrender it, so I repeat the affirmation several more times, but with the addition, ¨But if it´s God´s will then so be it.¨ And, yes, I am amused by all of this and silently laughing at myself. I also look down after all this surrendering and realize that obviously I have more surrendering to do if I´m still checking on it!I also developed a theory that it had something to do with some old nail polish that I´d never gotten off completely. So I bought some nail polish remover at the end of the day, and it did seem to do that trick. Or maybe it was all those affirmations. We´ll never know!

Also noticed on the subway how unhappy and frowny people were, and seemingly even more so if I dare smiled at them! This reminded me of the way people were in Budapest, so perhaps it´s just the way people are when in the rat race of a big city, especially if economically depressed. I look at them and want to tell them they can still choose to be happy. I´m reminded of why I must continue teaching Sheng Zhen Qigong, and Supreme Science Qigong-- how much it helps people experience the interconnectedness, the oneness, and how empowering, supportive, and uplifting that is.

I also daydream momentarily about writing a book just by riding the subway all day for as many days as it would take. And then I arrive at 9· de Julio, my stop, and I walk to the school to meet my Tango teacher.

His name is Gustavo. He looks like he´s in his mid to late 20´s, but could be in his 30´s. Shaggy dark hair. A short beard and mustache. White t-shirt. Sports pants. Looks kinda like he just woke up.

He leads me and two other ladies to the dance studio, about 5 minutes walk from the school. I spoke with him in Spanish and also in English during the walk. My classmates Camila and Cecilia are Brazilian (again!) so they were behind us talking to each other in Portuguese. Classes were in a dance shop, Darcos Magic Shoes, full of tango shoes and dresses, sporty dance shoes, and fancy pants. :) Fancy pants. I just like saying that.

We walked upstairs to the dance studio. The dance floor was faded and fairly small, but big enough for us. Two of the walls were mirrored, and where the mirrors ended, racks of tango magazines and benches began. There was also a small bar that wasn´t open. And a window along the length of the dance floor, looking out onto the street.

In this first class, we learned the basic step and posture, just follwoing along, watching Gustavo and also watching ourselves in the mirror. We´d practice without music. With music. Slow. Fast. Changing it up. We´d practice just walking to the beat and then adding in the steps. And then we each got a turn to partner with Gustavo. I started to get the hang of the steps, and of waiting to be lead, rather than anticipating the next move and starting to go without being lead; I started to feel the connection. I was told I needed to work on resistance, but Adrian´s been telling me that for months. So now I´d have a chance to practice several times a day in these classes!

Gustavo would mostly speak Spanish (entonces was the word of the day), and my classmates could understand most of what he said. I, on the otherhand, could not. Sometimes he´d repeat in English, sometimes he wouldn´t. Sometimes I´d request that he repeat in English. Sometimes I wouldn´t bother, especially since you can always learn movement simply by watching and then imitating. It´s just that words and instructions and explanations and tips and pointers and all that stuff make it easier. I must say that I felt pretty tired by the end of two hours of trying to learn a dance AND a language at the same time! But I liked that by the end of that first class, I already saw improvement. I also liked how some of the things he said could be taken beyond the dance floor, like, about not needing to think too much, but that he knows it´s hard for us ladies not to think (this was in reference to the woman just following, so easy! ;)) I have some mixed feelings about Gustavo, but I do like my tango classmates, both from Sao Paulo.

After class, I went out for lunch alone. Just ate some lettuce with chicken. Boring. But I was in a hurry to sit down and eat, feeling so tired, and my back was a bit achy. In the cafe, I was thinking about how there´s constant noise here, constant activity. I wrote in my journal, ¨I´´m not used to it. My system will adapt though. I hope! :)¨

This 2nd day of Spanish seemed extra stressful. Maybe because it followed 2 hours of Tango, in which I was trying to understand mostly Spanish. Maybe because my Brazilian classmates were having lots of side conversations in Portuguese, and it was both distracting and confusing. Maybe because the chairs are uncomfortable and I´m not used to sitting for hours. Or maybe I´m pms-ing. Or maybe my teacher´s right about it just being normal to not understand or speak as well as I can understand writing.

But being the only non-Brazilian, other than the teacher, really had me feeling a bit uncomfortable today. Although I get 80-90% of the homework right, and it seems pretty easy, I have been having a very hard time understanding spoken Spanish. My classmates are conversing with each other and with the teacher, and sometimes breaking out into laughter, and I have no clue what was said, other than maybe a few words. It´s hard to spend 4 hours struggling to understand what everybody´s saying. And I miss laughing. Not just chuckling. But really laughing.

It was clear to me that my classmates´ conversation skills definitely were not beginner. They were intermediate. But the homework and lessons were beginner, so I figured this is just how it was going to be. And I didn´t like it. Not at all. Although the first day had ended on a pretty positive note, now I didn´t really feel I was learning much, since a lot of the class time was spent conversing, and my classmates were so ahead of me in that department that I´d just sit there starting to fall asleep or feeling bad or frustrated or bored and wondering if this is really how it´s supposed to be. I raised my concerns with the teacher, and she suggested I watch t.v., since I´m not living with a host family or in a hostel, where i´d hear spoken Spanish more.

It was raining on the way home. Still hot out, but slightly cooler, and the rain was refreshing. When I arrived home, I discovered that the water wasn´t heating up for the shower. I didn´t think that the heater in the kitchen was what controlled the bath water, but I went out into the kitchen to check, and I saw that the heater flame was out again. Good chance for me to turn it back on myself. At first it didn´t work, but I tried again, and voila! Maybe it takes some time for the hot water to kick in though, cuz I ended up taking a cold shower still! It was ok though, as I was pretty hot and the air con hadn´t fully cooled the place down yet. Also good practice for being places where there´s no hot water. Just didn´t think Buenos Aires would be one of those places! ;) I also practiced some breathing method that´s supposed to help you stay warm. I don´t think I was doing it right, but I did get used to the cold. And the combination of the cold and getting a little lightheaded lifted some of that weight I´d carried home with me that day.

After showering, I ate some lentils and wild rice. Mmmmm. Mostly I´ve been eating a lot of protein, animal protein, so I was happy to end my day with a vegetarian meal.
Went online feeling pretty good and wanting to write more and check email, but ended up getting triggered by one of the emails in my inbox and it put me in even more of a funk than I´d been in earlier, so I replied emotionally, and then I watched 45 minutes of cartoons in Spanish while giving myself a foot massage with peppermint lotion. It helped a bit. But in general, I´d say this was not the best of days....

That pic above is of the downstairs of the dance place, not the dance floor we used for out classes...

© 2011 Rebecca Clio Gould. All rights reserved. 

Buenos Aires, Day 3: 1st Day at COINED


After those first two long days, I dived into a week of Spanish and Tango immersion classes through a school called COINED. I´d found it online, and it appealed to me because they offered the combination of Spanish and Tango. I thought it would be a good place to get started, get grounded, learn some Spanish, and get a little intro into Tango before I switch over to Salsa.

So this week started off with waking up on Monday around 6. Still jet-lagged, so I´d been up until midnight. Did a super quick email check and Facebook post, then got ready to leave for my first day of classes. When I went downstairs, I was met by an unfamiliar face. Another doorman, or portero. He had the note I had written about a taxi the previous night, but insisted on waving one down. So I didn´t know if somebody else had called a taxi for me, and it was scheduled to arrive soon, or not. Didn´t really matter though.

When I got into the taxi, I couldn´t find a seat belt and the driver explained that I´d have to walk a few blocks to the school. At first I doubted my understanding, but it turned out I did understand! It was interesting driving out of Palermo and into another part of Buenos Aires. I could see that I´m living in a very nice area, as the street is lined with trees and there are parks nearby. It was also exciting to be going to my first day of classes. Just before arriving, we were almost side-swiped by another car and the fare was more than I´d been told it would be. It still wasn´t much, but since it wasn´t what I thought it´d be, I used this as an opportunity to practice asserting myself if any suspicion of getting ripped off. But after briefly trying to explain in Spanish what I had been told, I just paid him what he asked for. No big deal. And I´d take the subway home.

The main street he stopped at (Diagonal Norte) was big and dirty and full of cars, the sidewalks wide and full of pedestrians and, like most big cities. I didn´t see the street sign for Suipacha, and even though the taxi driver pointed down a street, I wanted to make sure, so I asked a woman on the street who didn´t know ,and then I asked a store clerk, and she pointed, indiciating I was already about to cross the correct street. I got to the other side and saw the sign. I really appreciated how the street signs had numbers with arrows, so you know which way to go for ascending numbers or descending numbers. Suipacha and the other smaller streets had pretty narrow sidewalks, especially compared to the main streets. The school was very easy to find, just a few blocks away from the main road, in Palacio San Miguel, an old building with a an Asian doorman, who always smiles and says hello. Seems these porteros are everywhere here.

There were marble steps leading up to where this portero sits, and then two flights of wooden steps get you to COINED. There´s a waiting area, an office, and then a long corridor with many doors leading into small classrooms, plus one break room with computers and water and coffee and tea and an outdoor patio. There was also a staircase going up to another level of the school.

It was like a zoo and a sauna in there, and continued to be that way throughout the entire day. This morning´s arrival time was 8 a.m. for a placement exam. The exam was harder than I had expected, and I sort of wished I had studied a little, but I also knew it would be fine to be placed in the most elementary beginners´class, so I didn´t sweat it too much. Although, I was sweating plenty from the heat!

After the test, we were told to wait about an hour to find out what our schedule was. I went online to find some Spanish grammar charts, and then found a relatively quiet place to study a little of what I hadn´t understood on the test, since I had been advised to take Level 1, part B, instead of part A, despite totally messing up on some very basic grammar. The examiner and I had talked about the likelihood of some of my old Spanish coming back to me. Plus, she said I could talk to the director about switing to another class if I were to get placed in one that was too challenging.

When I got my schedule, it turned out that I wouldn´t have Spanish class until 2 p.m, and Tango wouldn´t begin until the next day, Tuesday. I found a very helpful employee who explained where I could get the subway back home, since there was nowhere quiet nearby, and the noise was getting to me along with the heat, and she said it would only take about half an hour. And she was right!

So I got to try out the subway for the first time, and it was super easy! 5 minutes walk to the subway, 10 minute ride, and 15-20 minutes walk around the zoo to Ingrid´s apartment! And on the walk home, I finally saw all the dog poop all over the sidewalks, and a couple of different dog-walkers with a dozen or more dogs. I had read about this the other day, so was excited to see it! :)

When I got home, I walked in the door, got out of my sweaty cloths, turned on the air conditioner, and practiced Kuan Yin Standing Qigong. It was only 11:30 a.m. and I was already exhausted with 4 hours of class to attend in the afternoon. Luckily the qigong helped a bit. I ate some lunch, rested on the couch for a little while, and then hit the road again. And on my walk back to the subway a couple of hours later, I took a slightly shorter route and made a game out of hopping around the sidewalk, weaving in and out of other pedestrians and avoiding stepping in dog poop! ;)

I arrived at school with 15 mintues to spare and having learned the importance of looking extra carefully when crossing the street, as sometimes motorcycles come out of nowhere. It was still noisy and hot in the school. Seemed like everybody was speaking Spanish. Soon I discovered that a lot of what I was hearing was Portuguese.

My class consisted of 7 students and one teacher, Veronica. We sat in a small room with 8 blue plastic chairs around a rectuangular wood (or fake wood) table. There was a white board behind Veronica, air conditioner, opposite from the doors there were big windows that opened to a view of another concrete building. I sat with my back to the windows, almost at the other end of the table from the teacher. The other 6 students were all from Brazil! Very nice. Also very talkative!

We started off introducing ourselves. My introduction was very basic. As the other students introduced themselves, I felt so unsure that I was in the right class, since they understood all of Veronica´s questions (many of which I didn´t understand), and they had much more to say than I did. So it seemed to me that I was much more of a beginner than the others. I was trying not to stress or feel bad, as I knew I could switch during break. But then we got our books (which felt like security for me), and the exercises were definitely the right level for me. So I figured that I must be in the right place. I did talk to the teacher about my concerns and she said it´s normal to not understand or speak as well as reading comprehension and writing, and also that it´s easier for the Brazilians because of the similarities.

As the class progressed, I felt better and better about being placed in the right level class. Some Spanish was coming back to me. Plus, I could see that we were pretty much starting with the basics. All of us students were most surprised to learn that in Argentina, ¨ll¨ and ¨y¨ are pronounced ¨sh,¨ instead of ¨y¨ (so llama is pronounced shama, and yo is pronounced sho, and ella is pronounced esha). This became a source of laughter for us as the afternoon went on, as we each would forget and then remember, and remember and then forget. But by the end of the 4 hours, we mostly remembered.

At the end of class, we re-introduced ourselves in Spanish. We had done it at the beginning of class, and it was cool to see that already I was improving with my confidence and grammar and remembering more vocabulary. Hooray for the first day of Spanish!

The subway home was packed! Like nothing I´ve ever experienced. Glad I had zippered pockets and just one plastic bag with some stuff in it. I hung out near the doors and counted stops, but, man, I am so glad I am not clausterphobic. I can see now that this is definitely a shower-at-the-end-of-the-day kind of place, especially if I´m going to be riding the subway at rush hour. All those sweaty, sticky bodies…… I was craving a cold bath, yes, cold, but didn´t want to bathe in other people´s (and the city´s) filth, so I just showered when I got home. Ate some granola. Watched some tv en espanol(, and now here I am writing about today! Still have some homework, so will end my night with that, or wait til the morning.

Tomorrow, I´ll have my first tango lesson from 11-1, and my 2nd Spanish lesson from 2 to 6. After class, I might join a school-organized outing for a Milonga. I´m also considering switching from Tango to Salsa, and just getting a little taste of tango at Milongas rather than at school, but I do want to see how I feel after the first lesson. Surely I´ll focus on salsa starting next week if not this week though, as it´s a more versatile dance. Plus, already know I like it. I also know that Adrian is ¨waiting for me to catch up¨ so we can have more fun dancing together during the rest of the trip.

I´m also considering posting shorter entries. It´s just really time consuming to type up and then edit down my journal ramblings! So we´ll see....

More coming soon!


© 2011 Rebecca Clio Gould. All rights reserved. 

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The Traveller, part 2 (Day 1 continued, and Day 2 completed)

Another note posted on Facebook last night:

As I sit down to post this continuation of Day 1 and Day 2, it´s the end of Day 5! The voices in my head are speaking partly in English but with an Argentine accent, and partly just in Spanish. I don´t know what those Spanish voices are saying half the time, but at least it´s not Hungarian! More on that below.... And this is a long one, folks!



So, where did I leave off? Oh, yes, with going out for a walk. Well, I forgot to mention that first I watched Stepmom, while lying in bed, with Spanish subtitles (I can justify watching t.v. if it´s a learning experience! ;)) I also cut up my Lonely Planet South America guidebook, so I can travel a little lighter after getting rid of the parts I won´t need. Cried a little, thanks to that sappy movie, and the relief and joy of being here, and then I did some yoga. Oh, and then my first shower. This is significant, because I was anticipating weak water pressure, but to my pleasant surprise, the water pressure was awesome! And this is very important for hair like mine. :)



So then, out for the walk. On my way out, I met another doorman. He talked my ear off, despite the fact that I told him repeatedly that I didn´t understand. It turned out that I actually did understand the gist of everything he was saying (stuff about the keys, and garbage, and what happens of somebody comes to see me), but he sure did have a lot to say about it all! He also didn´t seem to understand even my most basic Spanish, and on Monday I found out that was partially because pronunciation in Argentina has some big differences from proununcation in other Spanish speaking countries. The biggest differences are that the double ¨L¨and the ¨Y¨do not have the ¨y¨sound, but an ¨sh¨sound. Shocking! Even the Brazilians in my class (it´s me and 6 Brazilians) were shocked and keep forgetting! More on my classes and classmates the next time I write...



As mentioned previously, there was a big racing event down the street, and I walked around the perimeter of the zoo. I knew the markets wouldn´t be open on New Year´s Day, but was keeping my eye out for a resaturant. I found one called Nuche. It looked clean and fresh, and relatively full but not crowded. Upon entering, there´s a big display of desserts. It was nice to not even feel tempted; I just wanted some real food, some healthy food, some salad and some sort of protein. I hadn´t brought my phrasebook, so I was racking my brain for how to ask for a table, but I observed that someone else just sat down without being seated, so I did the same. There were many wooden tables with wooden chairs, and there was a bench along the wall with tables as well. I went to the back of the place and sat on the bench, figuring it was the best spot to take in the view of the entire place.



It was nice to just hear Spanish all around me! Sitting in that restaurant, I really felt as though I had arrived. Although I often had to remind myself that I wasn´t in Budapest. Ya see, I was married to a Hungarian, back in the day. ;) Yes, it´s true. And I studied Hungarian 2001 to 2005. I studied Spanish 1995-1997. SO, when I´m in any non-English speaking place, I tend to retrieve Hungarian, rather than Spanish, words when searching for the way to say something in another language. Erted? (That´s Hungarian for ¨Understand?) (Luckily, by now, by Day 5, I´m thinking more and more in Spanish, but still do have an occasional Hungarian word pop up. Like, today I kept saying ¨jo¨for ¨good¨/¨ok¨instead of ¨bueno¨or ¨bien.¨I bet within another week or so that won´t be happening. But back to the restaurant!



When the waiter came to my table, I told him that I only speak a little Spanish and asked if he spoke English. He did just a little. I ordered a salad, and asked him a little about some of the items in it. He either translated wrong, or placed the wrong order! It was a nice surprise though to have a salad with avocado, walnuts, and sesame seeds! At some point I met Javier, another waiter who was nice enough to give me some Spanish lessons after I told him in very poor Spanish and some English that today was my first day and I was starting classes on Monday. He taught me that I can say ¨Mi nombre es Rebecca.¨instead of ¨Me llamo es Rebecca.¨ Of course I´d been saying ¨llamo¨ with a ¨y¨ instead of a ¨sh¨ so maybe this was his way of correcting me without explaining? I don´t know. He asked me some questions and helped me with the answers too. Much more friendly than my original waiter, who never checked up on me after taking my order.



My lesson for that part of my day was to take my tiny phrase book with me when going out, and also to look up some translations online before going out. And to read up on customs, such as tipping. Turns out I had guessed right about not needing to tip the taxi driver (but can), and leaving a 10% tip at restaurants. Lucky guesses.



I also learned how to unlock the apartment door! Little did I know that there´s a technique! When I returned home, I couldn´t figure out why I could not get the door to open, as I was able to lock it without any problems. The doorman came up to help me, and showed me that I must pull the door a little as I´m unlocking it. Phew! Easy.



Got in bed around 8 to read and started falling asleep.Thought about getting up to do some qigong or dance, or maybe just watch another movie or meditate. I don´t remember now what I did, proably a combo, but I did write in my journal ¨ah, LIFE IS GOOD!¨



And although the plan for the next day was to go to the school, just a practice run, I decided against it.

Here´s a slightly edited version of what i wrote that day, Sunday, Day 2, with a few current additions:



DAY 2:

It´s 9:30. I slept almost 12 hours. And the majority of it was restful and deep. And I´ve decided that I´m going to write at least one page every day of this trip, even if just little notes to jog my memory later!

I love Ingrid´s place. And I can´t believe that her dvd collection just happens to include preg massage and myofascial release, both of which I´d been thinking about exploring when I return home! Now I get to take a sneak peak here! Feeling tempted to just retreat here after the first week of classes, but surely I´ll want to go explore after I land a bit more.

I keep reminding myself to take it moment by moment, day by day. There is nothing I have to do, or not do. I have plenty of time to make decisions and plan stuff out. I also feel I need a short break from planning and to just simply BE. Plus, I´ll probably be so busy this week with classes that I´ll mostly just be studying.



What I´m envisioning though, is that after this 1st week of daily commuting, I will stay in Buenos Aires all week. Probably meet Forgiven (a friend of dance community friends) and Diana (a friend of Ingrid). I will find out about private Spanish and Salsa lessons, probably start taking some private lessons with Patricio (Barbara´s friend suggested him, and we emailed a bit already). I will look into this thing that´s like speed dating but to practice Spanish! I will set up a massage for the week after my lessons and for my last week here. I will call the Americans Ingrid mentioned I could call if I ¨want some American contacts,¨ UNLESS I don´t want to! :) I will check out Barbara´s suggestions on where to go dancing too. And surely more ideas will come to me as this first week progresses... Most likely I will retreat a bit more towards the end, before leaving for Ecuador, and after I´ve done all, or most of, the things I want to do here. :)

I also really want to honor doing, or not doing, whatever´s in my best interest. I wish to make my choices not from shoulds or thinking that I or others might think I didn´t make the most of my time here. Right now I´m feeling very called to stay in a lot or go to parks a lot to do yoga, qigong, meditate, read, write. Eat healthy. Self-study salsa and spanish with dvds, online, cds, books, plus some private lessons and going out dancing. Low key. And although that sounds like something that could be done anywhere and could wait til I get home from this trip, perhaps that would be my way of making the most of it! Yes. Perhaps.... That being said, there´s also plenty of places I want to see, explore, things to do, make friends, etc. So I´m envisioning a mix, a balance......Speaking of balance, time for Qigong!

---

Just got back from the market! But before that, after Kuan Yin sitting Qigong, I lifted some weights, then did an hour of yoga. Love that Precision Yoga dvd that Adrian gave me! Cried a few times during it, as I pushed myself to twist or bend more, while telling myself, ¨I can, I can, I can.¨ Thought of Penny Allport, my very first Continuum teacher who is also a yoga instructor with amazing flexibility, and this woman had rods in her back! So if she could do it all with rods, I certainly can with my fused vertebrae! :)



After yoga, I was super hungry, but took a bath 1st. Very nice it was. salt and lavender. Drain worked fine, as Ingrid´s most recent note mentioned it had been fixed, but I kept checking periodically as I let the water drain just to be safe. I also tested the stove to make sure I could work it! Glad I checked, because it led me to discover that the heater flame had gone out after my bath! I tried ingrid´s instructions for relighting 3 times, but couldn´t figure it out. Emailed ingrid then went in search of market.



Found it! And one of my fave things in new places is to wander up and down each ailse of a supermarket. Made healthy choices! Did get some honey sweetened granola, but other than that, no sweets. Just veggies, lemon, lime, rice cakes, sardines, and eggs. Qunoa was $10. I gotta do the math on the exchange rate. Will probably buy some next time. Didn´t see any milk alternatives.



Came back to apartmetn and met Nero(?), another doorman. Friendly, no English though, so I went upstairs, found a free translation website, and wrote out how to ask him for help with the heater and also if he could call me a taxi for the morning or if taking the subway would be better.



Turns out the heater was easy to re-light. I had been pushing the wrong button. Actually, it wasn´t a button. That was the whole problem! And luckily I had the chance to try relighting it myself the next day. Piece of cake!



And then I burned some wild rice.And it didn´t even fully cook! I also thought I´d ruined a pot, but it ended up washing right out. And the rice was fine partially cooked, so all was good. :) Oh, that reminds me, I don´t think I mentioned this yet: I brought a whole extra bag of stuff for this time in Buenos Aires, including food (like wild rice) and some supplements and extra toiletries, etc, because I knew it would help me ease into being here, and I knew I´d be super busy this first week. And I am SO glad I brought this extra stuff. And yet I keep wishing I had brought my translator! For the first time since getting it, 8 years ago, I definitely, finally, would have used it.



Ok, that´s it. Looking forward to next time, when I´ll get a chance to write about this week of classes!



Until then....



:)

© 2011 Rebecca Clio Gould. All rights reserved. 

The Traveller, part 1

Posted this on Facebook a few days ago:

Well, here it is. I´m posting a note about my journey so far! Let´s see how far I get, as these last few days have been long and rich and full and wonderful!



Starting from the beginning:



The first thing I did when I got through SeaTac airport security was walk past the gift shop full of smoked salmon, and to my surprise I got all teary eyed. I guess I was anticipating missing the stuff, even though I barely ever eat it; it´s just so Seattle! So I walked over to Anthony´s and had a Seattle Scramble (eggs, smoked salmon and cream cheese) for my last breakfast of the year. Then I went into Exoficcio and found an awesome jacket that turns into a pillow!



On the plane to Dallas, I slept/meditated to some Melodies from the Pleiades music for the first hour. Then I spent another hour or so dancing in my seat to hip hop and r&b, feeling so happy to be dancing, and to no longer be too self-conscious to do so-- sure I was holding back a little, but not as much as I used to. I still wonder, How can people just sit still so much? Especially while listening to music?! I´m so grateful for Sheng Zhen Qigong starting me on the path towards more movement, confidence, joy, and love. And Continuum and Ecstatic Dance as well.....



On the flight to Buenos Aires, I pretty much had a whole row to myself, but before stretching out for some sleep, I reflected on most of 2010 and realized that I had traveled in January for 2 weeks, February for 1 week, March for 2 weeks, and then took off at the end of April for 2 months! My African Astrology card ain´t lyin! It says I´m ¨The Traveller.¨ And here I am again, traveling. For 4 months through South America.



Traveling on New Year´s Eve was not exactly what I had imagined. A couple of the flight attendants did have some festive party hats on, and they did hand out noise makers, but there was no count-down, no way to even know when or where it was midnight (well, i guess the pilot would´ve known), and although they were handing out complimentary sparkling wine (just the 1st round; alcohol is no longer free on American Airlines´ international flights), they ran out by the time they got to my row towards the back of the plane. Oh well! I was planning to spend at least the next few weeks sugar-free, and that includes wine, so this was just getting me started a little early.



I probably slept 6-7 hours of the 10 hour flight. Not bad! And I felt pretty good when we landed. Perhaps a bit emotional, as I almost started crying just over the excitement of being there, feeling proud of myself for taking this leap, feeling grateful for the time and ability and finances and courage to travel, and also a little fearful and nervous about walking out into the airpot and searching for a taxi. But as soon as I walked out of the baggage claim area, I was greeted by an English-speaking legitimate taxi service, and the price he quoted was even less than I´d been told to expect, and I could pay ahead of time with my credit card, so it was super easy! (Oh, this is cool. I´m typing this up on day 3 of being here, and I almost write ¨muy facil,¨which, if I have it right, is ¨very easy.¨ :) Yay! After just one day of Spanish lessons, it´s sinking in. More on that soon...)



So, the taxi driver comes, and it´s a geeky, pale, quiet, 20-something year old guy, and I feel at ease because of his demure and peaceful vibe. I still insist on keeping my bags with me instead of the trunk, but mostly for practice, as I know that this will be important later on in my travels. Buenos Aires is relatively safe though, and as I look out the window and see tons of cars parked under trees off the sides of the road along the way, I enjoy the ride to what will be my home for the next 3 1/2 weeks: an apartment that belongs to a woman I met last January at a Continuum Movement retreat. She is in Bali and said I could rent her apartment. It´s in a part of town called Palermo, right by the zoo and two or three gardens and parks.



When the taxi pulls up, I recognize the street from the pictures Ingrid had sent, and Raul, a doorman, comes out to meet me. Ingrid had told him to expect me. He takes my bags and leads me up to the apartment. I walk in and immeditately feel relief, excitement, and that I am at home.



This apartment is absolutely beautiful, even better in person than in photos. The feng shui is just perfecto! The furniture, the colors, the way things are arranged. And I´m surrounded by photos of gurus, artwork depicting gods and goddesses, buddha statues, crystals. If it weren´t for some personal photos, and the fact that I am not nearly as good at decorating and still have excess clutter in my possession, this could be mistaken for my own place! ;) I am inspired to get rid of even more stuff before moving into another place, somewhere, someday.... Oh, her books are right up my alley too: spriritual growth and massage; Ingrid runs a massage school here (Oasis) and also used to (or still sometimes does?) teach at Esalen in Big Sur, California. Within the first few minutes of being in this apartment, I was concerned that I might not want to leave! At all! But alas, I did. After reading Ingrid´s notes, and taking care of her plants and emptying the air conditioning water, I unpacked, ate some lunch, and then went for a little walk around the neighborhood.



New Year´s Day, what´s happening here? Just one block away, there´s a huge Dakar rally. And one of the guys sitting in front of me on the plane was coming down for it. I just didn´t realize that it was starting off one block from me! So, it was loud and dirty and the streets were packed. I just circled around the perimeter of the zoo, which takes up quite a few blocks. After such long travels, I decided that was all for my outing-- oh wait, I think I went out to eat too.....



But today was my first day at school, and it felt like two days, and I am tired. So this is all for now. I will post some more tomorrow or the next day.So stay tuned for tales of my first dining out experience, my first trip to the market, minor things going wrong (just slightly, and getting fixed/figured out) in the apartment, language confusion, public transportation, and what else? Spanish lessons. Tango lessons. At some point I will be meeting some people that I connected with via email. And at some point I might take a 3-5 day trip to Uruguay, or just a day trip, since I am so happy just simply being in this apartment!



And at some point, if I start sending out emails instead or in addition to this, and/or get my blog going again, feel free to let me know what your preference is, so I don´t bombard you with my updates. :) And tagging some folks here to help spread the word, but not sure if i´ll keep tagging; i guess that depends on how often I post stuff....



Chau!

© 2011 Rebecca Clio Gould. All rights reserved.