What I Love about Pokemon Go

The truth is, I don't even know what Pokemon Go is! All I know is that I keep seeing people at parks just staring at their phones more than usual. And not just individuals, but groups. Masses. Flocks. It's weird.

And at first it really bothered me. I mean, it really bothered me. I tend to be pretty positive and accepting and love saying things like "whatever floats your boat" and "if it makes you happy." But with this? Ha! No. With this, as I'd feel my body recoiling, my smile turning to a frown, and my brow furrowing, all of my judge-y judgments rose to the surface:
  
What the fuck is going on? 
It's like a zombie apocalypse or something. 
That's so stupid. 
What the fuck is wrong with these people?
Oh, great, more Pokemon Go zombies.
Oh, great, that cute guy is actually a Pokemon zombie. Bleh!
I don't like this.
I don't get it.
Ugh, it's so annoying!
Please tell me this is just a phase! :(
What's this world coming to?

I know, I know. I'm awful! Don't judge me for judging though; keep reading....

So I'm having all these nasty thoughts, and it's disturbing me that I feel so disturbed. But then, a couple nights ago, I snapped out of it. Sort of.... I was walking with a friend around Green Lake,  in Seattle, and I actually interrupted her to point out that there were about twenty to thirty people sitting down in one spot all looking at their phones. We started talking about the Pokemon Go "zombie apocalypse," and then it hit me-- a wave of whatever. who cares? But I was actually still cringing a little over it all as I drove home that night, until I had a realization:

Thanks to this Pokemon Go craze, I have been looking at my own phone way less when walking around or sitting in a park. And even though it's partially because I don't want to be mistaken for someone playing that game (which means I'm still judging it, right?), it's also because seeing all these people just staring at their phones reminds me how important it is to not do that, to look around instead. To take in the beauty of where I am. To look in people's eyes as we pass each other by. To close my eyes while sitting, too, to just give my eyes a rest.

So that is the first reason why I can now show some love for Pokemon Go.

The next reason is that I've been forced to look at my dark side-- that critical part of me that has those nasty thoughts above. And realizing it's kind of nuts to be so harsh about this, right? I mean, sure, I do think it's stupid and have some valid concerns about the negative impact of staring at one's phone too much, especially while walking. But I also see that it's bringing joy to those people who are playing. And if it's getting them outside, walking around-- maybe it's actually good for them! Maybe the pros outweigh the cons. It's all relative, right?  And who am I to judge anyway? My time and energy would be better spent praying that no Pokemon Go zombie stumbles into the road and in front of my car without me having the time to stop or swerve.

So, thanks to Pokemon, I have a chance to reflect upon my judgmental side and then to soften and open into the type of unconditional love and acceptance that I so often talk about. I get a chance to see things from another perspective and to walk my talk! Yay. And I can still feel a little disturbed by this craze and not like it, but without being a bitch about it. I can find some humor in it all, including in my own reaction to it. All of the self-reflection has definitely taken the edge off-- at least it feels that way sitting in my house. Let's see what happens next time I'm at the park. Wish me luck!

Now, is there anything else? Anything else to love about it? Just that it inspired me to write a blog post after. . .  . 7 months?! Really? Wow. I've been in book-writing/editing land for sure. But it's time to get back to the blog. So stay tuned for more.

My First Haiku

Sort of. It's sort of my first haiku. My first haiku in many, many years....

Adventures in Meditating: Beyond the Sky

Last night before sleep I traveled beyond the sky through time and space to a familiar place I've never seen but have seen, a place I've never been but am from, a place where Truth lives, where eyes can feel, where sound has smell.

The power I felt upon arriving, what I saw, felt and heard was almost too much for me, almost jarring enough to send me right back out, and at times it did. But only to another backdrop, a backdrop more serene. Idyllic. Green.

But what felt like the Truest glimpse of my own personal space beyond space, my own slice of the Akasha, was like an ancient land, like the edge of the world, with jagged cliffs and a raging sea in a storm. Misty. Grey. I knew I was safe, and yet I was scared, as I didn't realize quite yet that here hidden fears are welcomed friends. When the Truth's so clear, there's nothing to fear. You just see things as they are and know how to proceed. Efficiently. Lovingly. Honestly.


Back to the green serene place I went to gaze into a well of water, a Heart-shaped pool, my eyes reflecting back what was beyond my reflection. Hissing snakes wanting to shed but unable, a locked box, a white house, a family photo, and then the snakes again, their slithering drawing me in seductively but then baring their teeth, reminding me to stop. Look deeper. Just be.

What does it all mean? There's no need for words. Just feeling. And I felt it. Everything I needed to know conveyed in these images, like a download and reprogramming.

And so this morning I woke up feeling washed clean. Feeling clear. Feeling ready. Feeling my hands reaching for clay, trying to recreate this vision, this place. It wasn't just a vision. I know I was there. I felt it in my body. Different from imagination. Different from a dream. Both a revisiting and a memory.

And now that I know how to access that place, I find myself wondering about the next time I go, Will it look different, or will it look the same? Perhaps the answer lies within my own internal state.

But before going off on a philosophical tangent and falling down a cerebral rabbit hole as I begin to ponder perception and reflections, reality and illusions, delusions, disillusions, I'm going to take the advice of those snakes and just stop. Stop with the questions. Stop and go deeper. Deep into feeling. Deeper beyond into just simply being.




Please note: This experience was not a result of my usual Union of Three Hearts Meditation. It was the result of a guided Akashic Clarity Meditation.

Adventures in Meditating: Devoured by a Goddess

I've recently gotten back into a daily, seated meditation practice. I realized that the trick would be to stop trying to find a whole hour for this, followed by 20-30 minutes of journaling. Instead? Shorten the practice; commit to less time with the the option of going for longer. And it's working. 

I wake up, roll out of bed, and then sit down with my journal beside me, set my timer for twenty-two minutes, and begin the Sheng Zhen practice Union of Three Hearts (aka Zhongtian Yiqi).

And a few weeks ago, when I first started getting back into this, something very interesting happened as a result of me asking for help with quieting my mind, which is something I sometimes do. When monkey mind is out of hand, or my body is having trouble relaxing, I simply ask for help. Sometimes it's a general request, and sometimes it's directed at someone or something specific. And every time I've thought to ask for help, I receive it. Some experiences are more obviously profound than others, like the one from a few weeks ago.

 In the Sheng Zhen system, there are various qigong forms that have been gifted by various avatars, such as Kuan Yin, Jesus, Mohammed, Hanuman. So while seated, trying to quiet my mind, this time I asked for help from all of them and others.; clearly, I was really needing some major assitance. So the names and images started coming.  Kuan Yin, Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Hanuman, Heavenly Mother, Heavenly Father. And then other names and images started coming, a few Hindu Gods and Goddesses, and then it stopped with Kali. She was the one needed that day to put me in my place.

Kali, the Hindu Goddess associated with ego-death, empowerment, endings & beginnings, time & change, was now in my mind’s eye biting the heads off of the people who were popping into my head making noise, a few people with whom I was experiencing change and/or conflict. As I observed this, in awe, thinking it was interesting that she actually bit their heads off, she turned and looked at me.

Uh oh. Wasn't it enough that she severed the heads of these people who were bugging me? ;) No. It wasn't enough, because it was me, my own ego, creating all this chatter in my head. My own ego creating my own suffering. So then she breathed fire towards me, which although I don't recall that being something she's known to do, that's what was happening,  and it came through as a message, as a gift-- this energy, this element of fire, was there to help empower me to let go, be free, and take action. 

Sounds good, right? Time to get back to meditating, right? Wrong. She wasn't done with me yet. While I was analyzing what had already happened, so clearly still in monkey mind mode, she suddenly swooped in and ate my entire body to shut me up once and for all, engulfing me with one gulp. 

And then? Well, she processed and eliminated me almost instantaneously. I came right back out of her in the form of shit or mud and then saw a lotus flower out of which I grew into this beautiful and strong goddess in a white dress, totally at peace and clear and ready to take on the world. It was awesome!

And after that scenario played out? End of show. I was at peace, with a quiet mind, able to continue my meditation practice, forgetting my body, forgetting my mind, forgetting everything as my qi and love energy expanded and merged with the universe.
  
Ta da! ;)

Now, while I can't promise you'll experience anything like that, I suggest asking for help if you're having trouble quieting your mind during meditation. It's really easy. You just think, "help. Help me meditate." And then open up to receiving help in whatever form it is delivered. Might come on as a sudden or gradual calm and focus, or it could be something more dramatic, something where the mind engages even more at first. Just be open. You never know what you're gonna get. But if you ask, and believe, then you absolutely will receive.

© 2014 Rebecca Clio Gould. All rights reserved.
 

Wanna know what you are?

You are a big body of Love! That's what you are....

(Please note, this blog entry is my most recent newsletter. I'm posting it here as a first step in an attempt to get back into blogging...  ;) )

Predictable, right? Sending out a newsletter in February about love? Yeah, I thought about doing something different. But the truth is sometimes I need a break from thinking outside of the box. ;)

That being said, this is not a typical February newsletter about love. It's not about how to strengthen your love relationships or spice things up in the bedroom. No. This is about Sheng Zhen (pronounced "shung jen"). Sheng means sacred. Zhen means truth. And what's the most sacred, highest truth? Unconditional Love. The pure energy of Love. Not love with a little "l," but Love with a big "L." It has nothing to do with anything personal. It simply is. And it is always there all around you and inside of you in an infinite supply.

Sheng Zhen is not just about doing some movements or meditating; it's a philosophy and can be a way of life as well. Sheng Zhen teaches that Love and qi (vital life force energy, pronounced "chee") are always together and are the original and basic energies of the Universe. Master Li Junfeng says that where there is Love there is qi, and where there is qi, there is life. Similar to one of my favorite Gandhi quotes:

Through the movements and contemplations of Sheng Zhen Gong, we get in touch with this energy of Unconditional Love. We embody Love.
 

And this is why Sheng Zhen is so powerful, so healing, and can deeply heal and touch people's lives.

Now, I invite you to shut your eyes, take a deep breath, relax and open your body and mind. Recall your origin; you come from Love. You already *are* the embodiment of Love. This is how we begin the practice of Sheng Zhen, not just in the classroom, but out in the world.

Imagine a world where you walk around feeling, knowing, that you are a big body of Love. Full of qi and full of Love. And knowing, seeing, that everyone else is too. What does that feel like? What does that look like? All it takes is the thought "I am a big body of Love," and a willingness, a curiosity even, to see what happens, to see what one simple, beautiful thought can do. Wanna try it?

Just think it. It really can be that easy.

And if you want more, you can also check out videos on YouTube (like Awakening the Soul, or Sheng Zhen Healing Gong, which are ideal for beginners), contact me or other teachers for lessons, or travel to a workshop or training with Master Li. And there's still the option of coming with me to Mexico for a week in April if you sign up by February 15.

Whether or not practicing Sheng Zhen or simply playing around with the "I am a big body of Love" mantra resonates with you, I highly encourage you to think about the bigger picture, the deeper meaning of Love, not just during this month when we're seeing big red hearts and the word "love" everywhere, but every month, every day. Every moment. Love is key.


 

Meeting My Inner Physician

Just stumbled upon this, something I wrote a few years ago, about a SomatoEmotional Release session in which my "inner physician" revealed herself to me in some surprising ways, personified rather than just a voice from within:

  

SomatoEmotional Release is something that may or may not occur spontaneously during a CranioSacral Therapy session. Sometimes the body stores emotions and memories, holding onto pain, trauma, or harmful beliefs. This therapeutic approach combines a light and gentle bodywork along with some energywork and dialoguing. For example, if there’s an energy blockage in the knee, the therapist might speak directly to the knee and ask for a reply. The client is to say whatever words surface, without discounting it as merely imagination, but to really allow it to be a message coming directly from the knee. This could also be thought of as receiving a message from the higher Self or what’s referred to as the “inner physician.” And sometimes the higher Self or inner physician is addressed directly to begin with.

So in this session, I’m lying on the massage table, on my back, fully clothed, as per usual. The therapist lightly placed his hands on various parts of my body to check the rhythm of my fluids. Then he assessed my “vectors” which is like a way of assessing energetic alignment in my legs, hips, and arms. He did this whole assessment pretty quickly and then immediately got to work.

I don’t even remember where he placed his hands at first, but the first thing I felt was the strong sensation of a wall in my chest. A brick wall. Eventually it turned more into a sort of tile flooring. Suddenly flashes of myself as a baby and toddler, sitting in the old kitchen, and then in my grandparents’ kitchen, came flashing through my mind. I started crying. My mind recognized these images as being from photographs or videos and couldn’t figure out the why of these images and the crying.

When the therapist checked in with my inner physician, first he had me go to a “safe place,” to imagine going to this place: the grassy lawn on a cliff, overlooking the ocean, with a willow tree and a bench. I’d been there before, but only in my mind, for work like this.

He encouraged me to invite my inner physician to meet me there. I saw an image of an old woman. I couldn’t handle her resemblance to me, and so she immediately morphed into an even older, cartoonish, witch-like figure. Possibly even one I’ve actually seen in a cartoon.

     And I felt fear.

I was scared.

I was scared of this all-knowing, magical woman.

I was scared of the power within myself.

My conscious mind recognized that this woman was really me, but my fear had turned her into a scary witch. Hard to trust.

     But I did trust.

I settled down into a trusting state.

The therapist started speaking to her directly, after first asking permission from me and from her. He asked her her name. The name that came to me instantly caused me to laugh, and my inner physician spoke through me:

     “My name makes Rebecca laugh.”

     “What is it?” he asked.

     “Helga.”

I was laughing more. Mostly laughing at my mind for creating this witch and this witch-like name, but trusting that it was serving a purpose.

Helga would look at me with love and tenderness, tears in her eyes and a smile, knowing all I’ve been through and all that I am going through.

I’m trying now to remember the first thing that released that allowed Helga to transform. I don’t remember, but at some point she started getting younger and younger and looking more and more like me again. By the end of the session, Helga had transformed into a sultry forty-something version of me, wearing a slinky black dress, smoking a cigarette.

That was my inner physician?

Apparently so.

It still cracks me up, that final image. An inner physician who smokes? I could psychoanalyze and speculate, but every time I've ever started to over the past 4 years, instead I just laugh, and the laughter short circuits that part of my brain that wants to explain. So let's just leave it at that.

Today at Dance

Today at dance I experienced the kind of playful, sweet, fun, connection and intimacy on the dance floor I always long for. In the past I'd be wary, only dance with a select few. But today, I say, not anymore; that pattern is through! Today, I let go. I let go even more. I opened. I played. And one sweet partner after another kept coming my way. From rolling around on the ground to eye gazing and the longest embrace, today at dance I embodied Love, joy, and grace.

I used to fear getting too close. But is there such a thing as too close? Not if you know yourself well and are in touch with your feelings. Not if you don't fear. Not if you have no agenda other than enjoyment and presence. Not if you're a hollow reed being guided by pure Love energy flowing through.

I used to hesitate, armor, withhold, isolate. It's not the closeness I feared, but rather what might come next. Will I get hurt? Physically or otherwise? Will there be some expectation or unwanted advance? On my part or his? When all I really wanted to do was dance. Dance and connect, feel and be felt, see and be seen, touch and be touched.

That used to be me on the dance floor, and sometimes even off, guarded and questioning. But recently I've been hearing these words, "I am a big body of Love," repeatedly in my head thanks to Sheng Zhen; these words are now being used as sort of a mantra to enter into this state of Unconditional Love. And they're powerful words; I'm feeling the Sheng Zhen spirit even more strongly than ever before.

And so I'm ready for something greater, something bigger; no more shrinking away; it's time to expand and practice what I preach. I say it in class all of the time, "open your Heart, let go, enjoy the movements, enjoy your life." It's all so simple. Just let go and open. Take each moment moment by moment. Stop anticipating. Just see what arises. If something's unwanted, respond clearly, with kindness. And with Love. Remaining open. Knowing there's no need to close, but simply to express the yes's as well as the no's.