Today at dance I experienced the kind of playful, sweet, fun, connection and intimacy on the dance floor I always long for. In the past I'd be wary, only dance with a select few. But today, I say, not anymore; that pattern is through! Today, I let go. I let go even more. I opened. I played. And one sweet partner after another kept coming my way. From rolling around on the ground to eye gazing and the longest embrace, today at dance I embodied Love, joy, and grace.
I used to fear getting too close. But is there such a thing as too close? Not if you know yourself well and are in touch with your feelings. Not if you don't fear. Not if you have no agenda other than enjoyment and presence. Not if you're a hollow reed being guided by pure Love energy flowing through.
I used to hesitate, armor, withhold, isolate. It's not the
closeness I feared, but rather what might come next. Will I get hurt? Physically or otherwise? Will there be some expectation
or unwanted advance? On my part or his? When all I really wanted to do
was dance. Dance and connect, feel and be felt, see and be seen, touch
and be touched.
That used to be me on the dance floor, and sometimes even off, guarded and questioning. But recently I've been hearing these words, "I am a big body of Love," repeatedly in my head thanks to Sheng Zhen; these words are now being used as sort of a mantra to enter into this state of Unconditional Love. And they're powerful words; I'm feeling the Sheng Zhen spirit even more strongly than ever before.
And so I'm ready for something greater, something bigger; no more shrinking away; it's time to expand and practice what I preach. I say it in class all of the time, "open your Heart, let go, enjoy the movements, enjoy your life." It's all so simple. Just let go and open. Take each moment moment by moment. Stop anticipating. Just see what arises. If something's unwanted, respond clearly, with kindness. And with Love. Remaining open. Knowing there's no need to close, but simply to express the yes's as well as the no's.
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