Jumping in

I did it! I did it! I jumped into the water.

This is a big deal.

I haven't jumped in since I was 9 or 10. And jumping in again was on my list of things to do before turning 30 in September.

I'm not quite ready to cross it off my list though. I still need to FULLY jump in. I'm at a hotel in Ashland, Oregon, and I went down for a swim. Nobody was around, so I thought now might be a good time to practice jumping in.

First I just climbed up the ladder, and before getting out completely, let myself fall into the water. No problem. After a few times, I got out of the water completely and let myself fall into the water from somewhat of a squatting position. I was surprised by how easy it was. I was surprised that I did not feel any panic.

In the past, one thing that would happen was a panic response when water would get into my ears. I thought it was psychological, but my mom recently told me that it's not purely psychological, something about my anatomy and finding out that there was something going on with my left ear when I was a baby. But maybe that physical "defect" got worked out through all the CranioSacral therapy I've been receiving? Who knows; I'm just glad it didn't interfere with my experience today. And maybe it will never be a problem again.

Now, back to jumping in. So after a few more times of sort of dropping into the water. I actually stood up and jumped in.

It felt wonderful. I felt this great sense of accomplishment and liberation. Liberation from my silly fears and hesitations.
The body knows what to do. It's the mind that gets in the way.

Next, I need a deeper pool so I can REALLY jump in. And then an open body of water instead of a contained swimming pool? And then what about DIVING in? Diving was not on my list, but I would like to work up to that. Maybe it won't even take so long to "work up to." After all, I just jumped in today, and previously I had thought I'd need to take some more swimming lessons. But I didn't need that. I just needed the right time and place, and some privacy, to do it on my own.

© 2009 Rebecca Clio Gould. All rights reserved.