i am not my hair. and...

sometimes the hair's just gotta go.

i am not my hair
i am not this skin
i am the soul that lives within

i returned from austin on monday feeling refreshingly lighter, after a weekend of heavy-heartedness. and in this new lightness of being, i noticed some lingering weight weighing me down. but it wasn't my heart. it was my head. but it wasn't my thoughts (what a shock!); it was my hair.

so just when i'd gotten past the awkward stage of growing it out, it was now time to chop it off. to let go of whatever all that hair was still holding energetically? to lighten up even more? perhaps. or maybe just simply for a change? simply for fun? maybe all of that. maybe more.

i went and did
what i had to do
because it was time to change my life
to become the woman that i am inside

so i made the choice to say goodbye to my long curly locks that i'd been growing out over the past year or two. and somehow it felt so liberating. why? because i am not my hair. or maybe because i am my hair, at least partially. it's a part of me. so?

(whoa, whoa, whoa)
does the way i wear my hair make me a better person?
(whoa, whoa, whoa)
does the way i wear my hair make me a better friend? Oooh
(whoa, whoa, whoa)
does the way i wear my hair determine my integrity?
(whoa, whoa, whoa)
i am expressing my creativity

over the past couple of months i've been listening to india.arie's song "i am not my hair" over and over and over again, along with some of her other great songs, as music therapy. it's funny because i could have used her song as an argument for or against the cut. for example, if i am not my hair, then i don't need to cut it to release that energy it seemed to be holding. and if i am not my hair, then growing it out doesn't mean anything either. and perhaps that's the whole point. it's our minds assigning meaning and imagining all kinds of crap that gets us into trouble. it's not the actual choice or outcome that matters so much; it's making the decision, whatever that decision may be, without over-analyzing. that's what matters.

what matters is listening to your gut, that voice inside, without trying to see the future or analyze the past, without questioning and doubting. just listening. whether it's about something that matters, like how to compassionately detach from a loved one, or something that doesn't matter so much, like getting a haircut. what matters is listening, trusting, and acting accordingly. without all the but-what-ifs. without self-doubt. without an agenda. but instead with presence, clarity, and faith, in that moment.