Walking Out of Yoga

I just walked out of a yoga class half way into it. Instead of pushing myself, I listened to myself. At first it didn't even occur to me leave. I didn't feel like doing what I was being told to do. So I did my own thing, figuring I could still make the most of the heated room and occasionally follow along with the rest of the class. But then the teacher's voice started to bother me. The instructions, the sequence, the words, the tone of voice. So mechanical. So devoid of heart and soul.

I'd never felt that way in this teacher's class before. But today this was my reality. And so I left.

Sometimes it's good to push through discomfort and not let others affect us, or push through discomfort and be affected but in a way in which we grow and learn and move into even more comfort. But sometimes it's best to walk away, to remove ourselves from the situation or the person. And although walking out felt a bit awkward, it also felt so right. I was trusting myself, being true to myself, taking care of myself. 

My heart feels tender this morning, after some goodbyes last night, after realizing today that I leave Seattle in 5 days. And as I type that I remember that I went through the same thing with Seattle as I did with the yoga class. Not feeling right, and yet trying to force myself to make things work, forcing myself to stay. Feeling some fears around what it would look like to others, as well as myself, if I were to leave. But once the decision was made to take the leap, the net, many nets, started to appear. It's a lesson in trust. Trusting ourselves, that small voice, the gut feeling, that inspiration. Trusting the Universe. And having faith that those nets will keep appearing, and being grateful when they do.

© 2012 Rebecca Clio Gould. All rights reserved.