The Dolphin Experience

Tuesday feels like so long ago, after 4 days of transcending time and space. There's something that happens in the water, whether an ocean or a pool, when 6 to 8 hands are on you, melding with and following your body, assisting it with all kinds of movements, positions, expressing, re-membering, releasing.... there's a sense of timelessness and although quite embodied and all about the body at times there's also a sense of formlessness, of being just some micro-organism or pure energy, no body. Things like walking and talking feel somewhat foreign now, unfamiliar, not so easy. I've been speaking as if English is my 2nd language or like I've been somewhere speaking some other language (dolphin?! ;)) for so long that my brain is a bit confused, leaving out words, and not as articulate. But I'll try now to share, using words, even though I still feel as if I'm in the water and I hear dolphin sounds and waves everywhere I go. Will this wear off? Do I want it to? Maybe a little, at least enough to speak and write more clearly again! ;)

So, what happened on Day 1? After arriving the previous night, I woke up excited to finally, after 5 years, be at this program for BioAquatic CranioSacral Therapy and Dolphin Assisted Therapy. After meeting with the teachers and 7 classmates, we headed out to Unexso for our first dolphin enounter: 20 minutes in the water with a dolphin assigned to each of us, 4 of us in the water at a time, in a lagoon (so a natural, but contained, setting). The dolphins here are unique in that in addition to doing dolphin assisted therapy, they get time to swim freely in the ocean but always come back.

As I watched the first couple of groups, I felt my anticipation building. I hadn't had time to get into the water earlier, to sort of prepare my body and mind for it. I've never been super comfortable completely underwater, at least not without warming up to it. And I wanted to be so that I could feel free and confident to go under if that's what my dolphin was leading me to do. So I decided to just let go of any expectations. To just be open. To know that if it felt right to go under, I would, and if it didn't feel right then I wouldn't. Of course!

It was suggested to have some sort of intention, even if just to be open and meld with the dolphin and the water. That sounded good to me. I also asked for some guidance in navigating through some recent goodbyes and tugs at my heart.

When I got in the water, I was assigned a dolphin named Exuma. She immediately made eye contact with me and was very cute and playful, had a very nurturing energy. Immediate heart connection. Felt very comfortable. I kept a hand on her as we swam a bit. And then she left me! I figured she'd come back, but she ended up with someone else, and another dolphin came to me.

I think this was Cayla, who I'll write about when I get to the Dolphin Assisted Therapy day, but I'm not sure. This dolphin though was challenging me. Not the same energy, not much eye contact, and she really wanted me to go underwater with her. But every time I started to go down, it was like I'd forgotten how to breathe. Instead of holding my breath or breathing out, I'd start to breathe in. It was weird. I tried a few times and then just decided to accept that I was not going to follow her down and that if she wanted to swim down deeper than I did, then I should stop trying to keep a hand on her. It wasn't that my hand was preventing her from doing what she wanted, but it didn't feel right for me to be trying so hard to keep this physical contact only to feel her either go deeper or just swim away.

So I stopped. I took my hand off of her at some point and instigated a race instead! With her below the surface of the water, and me above. And I could see her eye looking at me during it. When my hand had been on her, she was going slow, as if trying to make it feel safer for me to follow, and she'd come up and down, but then eventually swim too deep for me to keep touching and then she'd swim away, but always return to me. And although it was cool to be touching a dolphin, I didn't really feel so connected to her. But when I let go and started swimming fast, while maintaining eye contact, she seemed to really like it. And so did I. We were more playful. Not so serious. Not keeping so "in touch" actually improved our connection. It was more relaxed and natural and fun for both of us. There was more ease, more trust. And it made me laugh. Yes, this was the perfect lesson or reminder for me-- to let go and trust, to not force things, to be open and receptive, to feel connected to the people and places I love even when not in touch...

That's all for now. And that was only the first half of Day 1. The 2nd half was my first BioAquatic session, and what a trip that was! More to come.... Until then, " eeeeeeeei eeeei, eeeeee! hhhnnngggrrr."

© 2012 Rebecca Clio Gould. All rights reserved.