So, running on the beach? I'm not keeping track of time; that would be impossible, or at least impractical. Plus, getting in a certain number of minutes isn't really the point, at least not now. Now it's more about the experience, and pushing my comfort zone, expanding my world, with the added benefit of getting my heart rate up and getting in better shape. Mostly though there's just something about the beach that says "Run on me! Barefoot! Early in the morning! Before you're awake enough to say 'but I'm not a runner.'"
Or perhaps that's the time I'm most awake. Before the mind takes over. Before I limit myself with definitions, evaluations, perceptions based on the past, etcetera.... Perhaps I *am* a runner.
No, I dislike that label just as much as the "not a runner" label. Let's just say I'm open to what life presents, and saying yes more than no, and this week life nudged me towards running on the beach. So i said, "yes! i'll try that on, thank you very much."
We'll see if it continues. So far i like it, even though I'm terribly sore. Maybe a non-runner taking up running barefoot in the sand isn't the best way to ease into running? Is there a rule, like how pregnant women shouldn't run unless they were already runners? Non-runners shouldn't start off on sand?
I suppose it doesn't matter. I'm doing it. It feels right and good. And a little soreness just might be good for me; I used to avoid it like the plague, no thanks to seemingly chronic aches and pains after the car accident in '96. Running on the beach today I thought about how for so many years I was so over-protective of my body and wouldn't push myself physically if it was uncomfortable or would result in more aches and pains. I realized some time ago that that approach was really more damaging than helpful.
I still don't like bodywork that results in pain, but more and more recently I've felt a natural inclination, not forced or to meet some unrealistic health goal, just a natural drive for more strenuous activity. Just really wanting to move more and more, and challenge myself; I want to feel and be as limitless as possible. I suppose there's a desire too to be as fit and healthy as I can be, without being fanatical about it. This natural urge, rather than a something-I-should-do type of feeling is so refreshing. I first noticed it manifest as calling to teach Sheng Zhen in 2006, and then the desire to dance more and more in 2009, and then actual physical yearning for more yoga in 2011. And now? Running on the beach!? Yes. At least for now.
Oh, and speaking of yoga, part of my soreness today is from running, but part of it is from yesterday's two hour yoga class (typical length here at Present Moment, thanks to super long shivassana).
I pushed myself. Mindfully so. So as not to get injured. And for the first time in months (or possible ever?) my heels touched the ground in downward dog. I could hardly believe it. I've noticed a really gradual but significant increase in flexibility and strength over the past couple of years, thanks to yoga, but barely any improvement in my hamstrings. Until yesterday! I celebrated by spending the majority if the next several hours reading in a hammock by the ocean.
Today will be similar, in terms of reading in a hammock, but today I'll also swim. It's my day off (yesterday was too, other than teaching). And tomorrow it's back to work!
That's all for now. I have more to share but still find that only having an iPhone to type on deters me from sharing-- sharing and writing is something I "wrote" about in my head this morning, as was the ocean and fears, and dancing with my shadow (literally, though I'd likely get metaphorical too if I really started writing about it....) So, perhaps I'll get to those another time.... Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. Isn't that a song?
© 2013 Rebecca Clio Gould. All rights reserved.
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