As I was lying on the massage table, belly down, I did speak up from time to time, asking her to back off. And from time to time she listened. But I'm still feeling beat up by her three days later. Her over-zealousness. Her cold and clinical touch. Her lack of sensitivity and presence. Yuck. Why didn't I just end the session and walk out? Curiosity perhaps. I should know better though. Not only because I'm a massage therapist, but because I've done this before. I've endured awful massages without giving enough feedback or just simply ending the session. Well, sometimes I find myself wondering, when I can tell that the therapist technically knows what he or she is doing, if the pain will be worth it.
Then again, I am a firm believer in that the body will tense up and resist healing if approached too aggressively. And this woman even had the nerve to say something about "attacking" my glutes. I wanted to end it there, or to educate her a bit on language. I wanted to tell her that the body is not something to be attacked. But I didn't. And I'm actually thinking about sending her a little note now. Using the word "attack" in reference to doing bodywork and having that mentality with anyone is inappropriate in my opinion, but especially so with someone whose body has been through all sorts of trauma as mine has.
So, yes, I knew better. So why did I stay? Maybe it was masochism, or temporary insanity. Or maybe it was hope. I kept hoping it would get better. Yes, that's it, or at least part of it. And as I write that I recognize it as something I've done in other areas of my life-- relationship, living situation, what else? At what point do we say, "enough," and get up off of that table?
And isn't it our sense of grandiosity that keeps us there, on the massage table or some where else convinced that no matter what's being dished out ultimately we can "handle" it 'cause that's what we do, we survive and live to talk about it. when is it okay to embrace the one who can't who just f'ing needs some help to say " no thank you and F' you very much while you're at it"
ReplyDeleteyep. i hear you. and i think this most recent episode, plus the subsequent writing about it, will help me to more quickly"embrace that one" right away next time rather than thinking i can or should just "handle it." but who knows? sometimes it's a tough call, especially when we're not just talking about a massage.
ReplyDeleteHope and not wanting to offend or have a confrontation over something that at the time was a mere irritant but turns out to be a bigger deal. Happens to me all the time I'm afraid to say, But it is getting less so. I'm not sure why.
ReplyDeleteGood point; we don't always know until after that it's worse than just a mere irritant. I guess it all depends on the context and the people involved....
ReplyDeleteI also think there is a phenomenon that happens when we are touched. I get this way too really when I am getting massage. The MT will ask if this is OK and I just say yes when it isn't really. I sort of zone out when getting massage and it's like I can't speak up and connect my words with my body. I think it is some pre-verbal experience or something. I would love to research that!
ReplyDeleteI hear ya, Julie! Yes, even when not enjoyable, massage can put us in an altered state. If you do end up researching it, let me know. If pre-verbal, then it would make perfect sense to just want to lash out physically rather than finding a way to tell someone to stop doing what they're doing.... And seeing the word "pre-verbal" makes me think of Continuum Movement. Not sure where I'm going with that, if anywhere, but just putting it out there if you're curious... http://www.continuummovement.com/
ReplyDeleteSome truly wonderful work on behalf of the owner of this internet site , perfectly great articles . full body massage brisbane
ReplyDelete