Contrary Opossum

Excuses, excuses. To ourselves and to others. I wonder where they come from? From fearing what others will think of us? From wanting others to understand us and think of us a certain way, to accept us? Or is it not even really about others, but about ourselves? Our own self-judgments and need for self-acceptance, understanding, and making sense of things? I don't know. But I've been thinking about this on and off since last Wednesday.

Last week, the day after returning the puppy to my clients, I went for walk along the path that I often walk around the marina out to the beach. And while thinking about my relief to be puppy-free, and no longer feeling guilty about it, but still kind of wondering what it says about me and what others think of my decision (why do I even care what others think?!), I notice that I'm approaching a dead animal on its back. At first I think it's a mouse. But it's not. It appears to be a baby opossum. I decide it's an opossum, because I can't think of anything else it could be. So when I return home, I look up "opossum" in my medicine cards book, and apparently opossums are known for playing dead! I know that opossum on the path was dead, not just playing. And so I pay specific attention to the "contrary" reading, since I figure that seeing a dead opossum on its back is similar to drawing the opossum card upside down, which makes it "contrary."

So, the contrary opossum gives this message:

"In the reversed position, Opossum may be warning you against getting caught in the high drama of your life's present scenario. "Close your eyes and dramatize," may keep you from seeing the truth of a situation. You may buy into melodrama in yourself or others....If this does not apply to your situation, take a look at the possibility that you may have recently been giving excuses for why you don't want to do something instead of telling the truth. In fearing to hurt someone's feelings you may have trapped yourself in a justification pattern: "I'm too sick, I'm too poor, I'm watching my weight, i'm too short, tall, sad, busy, tired, etc."

In having to defend yourself with excuses, you may have lost the point. You don't have to defend your right to be! The exercise is in learning to politely say that something would not be appropriate for you at this time. That's all! You owe no one an excuse. Learn to imitate Opossum and play dead, in the sense that the best strategy is no defense. In assuming the viewpoint of no defense, you have chosen the right to be who and what you are with no games involved.

The proper use of diversion is to know when you do not need to use diversion at all. You owe no one an excuse for how you feel or what you choose to experience."

YES! I smiled as I read this, and I've been carrying this message with me for the past week. It's helped with the puppy situation, and with others. It's helped me accept what I want and don't want, and also what others want and don't want, without a bunch of excess thought or explanation or analysis. Just sitting with what is and accepting it as is.