Ah, that takes me back to the 90's, good ol' Salt n' Pepa. They were on to something with that song....
And why am I thinking of that song? Because I've had sex on the brain for an insane majority of the past 2 days! And there's no reason why I should keep it to myself. In fact, most of my thoughts were not about sex itself but partially about how we talk about, or rather how we DON'T talk about it. And how crazy is it that even seeing that word -- SEX-- stirs up so much. WARNING! May be unsuitable. Mom, Dad, Kids, shut your eyes, cover your ears. Shhhhh.....
It started a couple days ago, when I got this email from a friend in response to my first blog post:
Nice blog. Reading about your continuum made me a little uncomfortable. I felt like I was reading about someone masturbating
Really? I furrowed my brow and felt troubled, more out of concern over my friend's discomfort than over my decision to share such an intimate account of a profoundly healing movement experience. I was disturbed more by the discomfort than by the reference to masturbating. At the same time, I recognized that she might be joking, but I was in serious mode and took her seriously, so I wrote back expressing my concern. Turns out she was joking about feeling uncomfortable, but this whole exchange led me to lots of thoughts about how common it is that seeing or reading about someone taking a "Continuum Dive" often does evoke sexual associations, and that that often does make people feel uncomfortable.
Now, there's a part of me that wants to say Continuum's not sexual. But maybe it is, not specifically but in the more general sense of the fullness of being! Fully experiencing your body, waking the body from a deep sleep, FEELING more alive-- sex(uality) is a part of that. And there's nothing wrong with that.
At the same time another part of me wants to say that it's not sexual and/or that it's just that we have nothing else to compare it to. We've gotten so out of touch with our bodies, we've moved so far away from feeling and moving as nature intended, as we started out as embryos, as newborns, fluid and free. So, yes, sex and masturbation may come to mind when reading about or witnessing, or even experiencing, continuum movement. What other frame of reference do we have?
Undulations.
Wave-like motions.
Feelings of ecstasy and pleasure from movement.
Deep, full body breathing.
Curling toes.
Arching spine.
Sounds pretty sexual, doesn't it? Yes it does. But so what?! In the great words of George Michael, "Sex is natural, sex is good." And it's true. Sex is a natural part of life, people! We are sexual beings, whether we like it or not, and why not like it?
Which brings me to the next issue. Regardless of the reason behind the association with sex, whether it's because it's natural and healthy to make that association or if it's because of how dissociated we are from our own bodies that we have no other frame of reference, the other issue remains: the discomfort this association evokes.
In this society, so many people are uncomfortable with their own sexuality and bodies, ashamed, embarrassed, and out of touch (pun intended). Afraid.
Fear instead of love. We're afraid to move. Afraid to breathe. Afraid to touch. Afraid to love.
One of my clients was telling me that they were thinking about having a family massage night once a week; she has a couple of kids in elementary school. But she and her husband started worrying about how that could get misconstrued if one of the other kids at school, or a teacher, or another parent overheard something about a family "massage" night. Oh, and don't even get me started on the sexual associations that go along with massage-- I guess I just did get myself started. But I'm stopping now. Maybe more on that another time.
Back to Continuum. And sex. Back to the discomfort....
I bet this email, or even the title of it, will make some people uncomfortable. But that's too bad. No, actually, it's not bad; it's great! Go ahead and feel uncomfortable. Take a look at why. And move beyond it. Why the discomfort? Why the taboo? Life's too short for such self/society-inflicted repression and suffering. Free your body. Free your mind. Open your mouth and speak freely. Move your body. BREATHE. Feel pleasure. And please, feel good about it!
And here are some videos of Emilie Conrad talking about Continuum:
Fluid system1
Fear
Aging
Fluid system2
© 2009 Rebecca Clio Gould. All rights reserved.
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