A Sheng Zhen Blog??

My plan had been to go into silence today. But sometimes plans change.

The first change was that I'd wait until after giving a couple of massages. The second change is this: my decision to communicate via blog. Sure, it's not speaking, so I'm still silent in that sense, but I was planning on total silence, which, to me, includes no form of communicating with anyone other than myself.

But when I returned home from the massages, and turned off my laptop to commence my silence, I questioned this restraint I was putting on myself. Why do I need silence, other than that I really do need to rest my vocal chords (I strained them)? But why be so rigid? Why be so extreme?

No answer. Unclear. Maybe I would start tomorrow. Maybe I would just not speak.

So I went for a walk around the marina.

The sun was shining.

When I got to the beach, I stood by the water and practiced Kuan Yin Standing.

I felt like I was swimming as I practiced the first movement. Boat Rowing in a Stream of Air. My body relaxed into it. I felt as if the qi were leading, rather than my mind. And I must admit that I haven't felt that much in the past week or so.

Second movement: Traveling Eastward Across the Ocean. I feel as vast as the ocean. I feel the freedom of movement. The freedom to be moved. It didn't even phase me as I heard what sounded like teenagers walk down to the beach. They were somewhere behind me. Sometimes when I'm alone on the beach, practicing qigong, I notice a shift in my energy when someone else shows up. But not this time. I had merged with the universe and nothing could shake me.

And as I imagined gazing at the moon, a few movements later, I felt the warmth of the sun on my forehead. In Qui'er Gazing at the Moon, we imagine the moonlight coming into the third eye. Today, as I imagined this, I felt energized by the sun that really was shining down on me. What a wonderful sense of connecting with nature! And to be standing on a beach by the water--- perfect.

Throughout Kuan Yin Standing, I felt a creative surge at the same time that I felt this meditative calmness. My mind was not overactive, and yet it thinking what's written here, and more. I got this idea to start a Sheng Zhen Qigong blog.

I even just set one up. But then I chickened out.

I may not want that responsibility. I don't know if that's really what I mean. I want to write. I want to share. But I don't know if another blog is what I want right now.

And for some writers, it helps to know that certain people will be reading or expecting something. For me, it's just stressful. At least that's how I'm feeling now, as I sit in front of my laptop at my desk.

So for now I'm not going to do it.

But maybe I'll change my mind. Maybe my mind will change back to how it felt out on the beach and during my walk home, which was excitment and thinking a Sheng Zhen blog was a great idea.

Hmmmm, that makes me think I should do it. But I hate the word "should," and I feel like I better just listen to my hesitation for now. It was a great idea, but I'm not ready. Not today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week.

So for now I'll just write about qigong privately, or here. And when I'm ready, if it's mean to be, I'll create something public for clients, students, and whoever else to read.....