who am i here for? and what's my purpose?

who am i here for?
am i here for me? am i here for myself?
or am i here for others?
is it all the same thing?

i was expressing some angst over being in austin for 3 weeks, and my friend said that maybe my presence is required for the benefit of others. maybe it's not about me. or something along those lines. and what a relief it was to hear his words. somehow it lifted some weight, lifted some fog, lessened my feeling of concern and anxiety. somehow the thought of being here for others felt like less pressure than being here for myself. what's that all about?

being less selfish? less self-absorbed?

i am here to serve; it's in my virgo nature.

but why does this make me feel better? is it because it's about fulfilling some higher purpose? or is it my ego?

i'm sitting here thinking about my walk this afternoon. part of the conversation was about the connection between the ego and the feeling of needing to have some sort of purpose other than to just simply love.

but my brain feels a bit mushy tonight, so i think i'd just muck it up if i tried to explain this conversation or even what i'm thinking right now. so, for now, this is all.....